;[ [30 Jul 2003|11:10pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | The Daily Show ] I need to fucking lighten up sometimes. Ooooh cryptic. Um, I'm really pissed off right now. Because I seriously wanted to go to Japan with my friends, and oh look! Let's shove some more work at Britney! How grand! :D! I've been planning this.. FOREVER. I warned management in advance, not to book me for anything close to the end of July/beginning of August. And what do they do? EXACTLY what I tell them not to. Excuse me while I go off myself. Where is everyone. Edit: Also. It's beyond me why people are calling me a 'slut' and a 'ho' because I recently posed topless.. ? If my mind serves me correctly, I was covering my breasts with my hands. I know certain people, who shall remain nameless, who have posed totally buttnaked and aren't receiving half the criticism I am. Personally, I think the human body is a beautiful thing. Displaying it tastefully in an artistic sense.. there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. The correct definition of a 'slut', 'whore', 'skank', what-have-you, is someone who just sleeps with men for the hell of it. Fucks anything that walks, you know? And gee, I don't do that, so hm, looks like people are just labeling me wrong all over again. But that's OK, I don't need people's shit. I'm just in full-out bitch mode right now, and ignoring everything I don't like, from here on out. 7 | ©

Hurr. [27 Jul 2003|08:35pm] [ mood | stupid ] [ music | `* God Must Hate Me//Simple Plan ] Throws self off cliff. Not really. I don't even know why I said that because I'm in a gr8 mood, haha. I guess I just felt like...throwing self off cliff. Thx. Um I'm going to New Yawk, New Yawk in a couple dayssss. I leave Tuesday morning actually. I'm going to be there for the 3 day event hosted by BMG Records and crap. I'm going to perform Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and some other artists are gonna perform toooo. Like Pink, and a bunch of other people that I can't remember. Sobs. But, point is, it'll be nice to perform again and be on stage and wooo. I'm excited. If ya'll wanna come and check me out, you're more than welcome. I could get you killer seats and I'd really love to see your faces in the crowd. La la la. I've been kind of dead, not really socializing with people or anything, and I'm really sorry about that. I don't know what the dillio is. Maybe Tony does. Ha, bad joke. I heart that song, k. I'm going to go pick myself up off the ground and 'throw self off cliff' again because I'm just really bored. Or maybe I'll just call Billah. Bai. ©

OOC OOPS [25 Jul 2003|07:34am] [ mood | bored ] [[Made a post in Reality Unwoven. :-O!!!!!!!!!]] ©

I know I kind of suck for using my own lyrics. [24 Jul 2003|03:17am] [ mood | toolazytopostincoffeehouse. ] [ music | LOLOLOLZ :| ] ( `* ) Oh wow so today wasn't really that fun or exciting, I went to some meetings and stuff because hello, my video's filming starts in late August. About time I started gettin' something done, dammiiiiiit. Last night..or should I say 2 nights ago since it's 3 AM? I went to Dita's burlesque show. She is so beautiful and talented, I adore her. Kelly hurt herself. :\ She'll probably tell you all about it, I was so worried, wtf. I thought she'd have broken her fingers or something. It suck-suck-sucked. Later this summer/early fall I'm going to the Redskins training camp or something..? It's part of my promotion. Because I'm gonna be doing the opening concert type thing to kick off the NFL season. CoOL13z :-O. So that should be tons of fun, dun dun dun. Hah that rhymed. Benji was talking to me a couple days ago, telling me about all the fun that went on at the Challenge For The Children game. Cough. Sucks that I couldn't be there this year, sob. He was on my team though, YaY KnIGhTz :B. They won too, and what. Sorry Justin, cough, Daze sucks, you should've stuck with the Knights because hello they are obviously the best and won last year too I believe so..hm. Excuse me while I leave lame ass messages on Joel's phone because I can. P.S. HI BILLY I'M SO GLAD YOU GOT TINA BACK GOODBYE. 4 | ©

Hurr? [20 Jul 2003|07:55pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | `* I Won't Spend Another Night Alone//The Ataris ] What in the fuck, I died. I'm back though! I swear, because, hello here I am! >:O Um, I found out a couple nights ago that I'm going to be filming my new video from Aug. 20th to the 21st. So yeahhh. And Aug. 6..? Or something like that? I gotta be at the Teen Choice Awards. So woohoo. August 1st through the 3rd or some happy shit like that, is when I will be going to Japan with my homies. So wow. I can see that August is going to be the start of all things busy. I was pretty much sleeping all day yesterday and for a lot of today, and then today at like noon, Benji called me and it was great because we talked for a long ass time. And I haven't talked to him in a while. So that made me happy. Tuesday I'm coming back to L.A. to see Dita and ehehehe. I'm going to sign on now because I'm having Billy withdrawls and I don't know. Kelly withdrawls too. Everybody withdrawls. I need to come out of my cave, this is me signing on, bye. 5 | ©

So let me ask you somethin'... [18 Jul 2003|12:15am] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | `* Wasting My Time//Boomkat ] Mm hello, I'm here. Alive. In one piece, all that good stuff. ;-* Hi. I'm feeling a lot better so yeah. Benji - Apology accepted only if you accept mine because I was being a bitch on wheels, ok. ;[ I'll call you later tonight. Everyone else... wow. My friends page looks like a battlefield. But I saw the well wishes and stuff and I just love you guys. Thank you. <3 I also hope everyone stops fighting because fighting sucks, thanks. HELLO KELLY I ALREADY TOLD YOU THIS BUT I AM HAPPY FOR YOU THAT YOU GET TO MEET DEBBIE CHICK, BYE. Marshall, thanks for having a big fucking mouth. :D Hint hint of sarcasm. I love you anyway. And uh.. I'm in NYC. I'm gonna be here for a few days, taking some time to myself and stuff. I talked to Justin a little tonight. He said one thing that left a big impression on me, made me think. Would you just stop apologizing and beating yourself up and feeling sorry for yourself and trying to drown it in drink or putting on a happy face and just sit down a while, think and stop being so scared of yourself? I can always leave it up to him to be blunt with me and put me in my place, and I seriously needed to hear that. Our conversation wasn't that long winded or anything but it was a start, nonetheless. We were both in pretty sour moods earlier so it didn't get far but heyyy. It's all good in the hood. Um I'm going with Kelly and whoever else on the 22nd to Dita's burlesque show in L.A. because I love her. I want ice cream. P.S. hi Joel did you like that voicemail I left you this morning? :B IT WUZ DONELL. Ok bye for real. Edit: DOUCHEBAG DOUCHEBAG DOUCHEBAG!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. HI KRIS ROE REMEMBER ME FROM THAT WILD NIGHT IN KENTUCKY YEAH BABY YOU DO REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN WHO IS KELLY! REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! :-* hiiloveyoukel. 5 | ©

:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [15 Jul 2003|07:38pm] [ mood | bye ] [ music | who cares ] Well, I've succeeded in fucking MANY things up today! With a lot of different people too. I'm so glad I've achieved the goal of having nearly everyone I know temporarily (or maybe not) hate me. Possibly the world too, judging from the tabloid Benji swung by and showed me. I wish I hadn't done what I did, but guess what, reality check, can't go back and change things. I'm learning from my mistake, not to do it again. I've had people that I love and care about, calling me and/or coming over and expressing their disappointment. Can I just say one thing? I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting ya'll down, I'm sorry for being so stupid as to think that whatever I did last night would fix my problems, I'm sorry for everything. And Benji.. the last thing I ever wanted to do was let you down. But I know I did, and I'm pretty sure I can't fix it. And it bugs me because I love you and care about you, and I just feel like shit about it okay. I should practice what I preach and all that stuff, so I'm especially sorry to you. I never had any intention of doing that, but I didn't have my head on straight last night, so I guess I'm paying for it. I was laying in bed today, just doing whatever, and I reached over and picked up this little pink stuffed bunny I have. Kinda depressed me because it reminded me of when I was younger, and I was just laying there thinking.."What happened?". What happened to who I used to be? I mean I hit 19 or 20 and I make this amazing evolution into this sarcastic, stupid bitch. I used to be really sweet and nice, and now I'm a mess. And everyone is right, I deserve it. I may be stubborn, but I'm not stubborn enough to deny that, it's just common sense. I don't really feel like showing my face around here or hearing it from everyone again. I am extremely ashamed. So ashamed, in fact, that this is me disappearing for a few days. Don't miss me too much. Oh and P.S. this is for Justin, thanks for signing off in the middle of an argument. I wasn't done talking, but I suppose you were so I guess that settles that. I'm done with it.

:-| [15 Jul 2003|01:47pm] [ mood | stupid ] [ music | `* I'm A Dumbass//Britney Spears ] ( Last night's events ) ©

.. [15 Jul 2003|04:11am] [ mood | sick ] [ music | None ] Wow so. I had this giant update on my fucked up night and how incredibly stupid I am, and how I don't know what the Hell I was thinking, and then my computer decides to freeze up on me. :] Great. I guess I'd just like to say thank you, Billy, for driving me home. You are the best and I love you. Maybe I'll talk about this when my head doesn't feel like it's gonna fall off and when I have the patience to write another update. I'm sure you'll read about it in a tabloid tommorow morning anyway. I'm exhausted bye. ©

It burns a hole through everyone that feels it.. [14 Jul 2003|04:21pm] [ mood | fine ] [ music | `* Blue & Yellow//The Used ] OK, wow, Britney's going to get deep right now because she can't keep her happy mask on forever. This entry is more for my benefit, to get thoughts out. So either skip it or suffer. ( Go away. ) ©

This is the show they call Britney-fizzle >:O [13 Jul 2003|11:46pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | `* On My Own//The Used ] Wow kids I really don't have anything to update about! :\! I don't even know why I'm updating. b m g c L 27: WHO TWISTS TITS????? I think that's why I'm updating. Who knows, I've been doing a whole lot of nothing besides talking on the phone a lot and going online. Um I went to the store today and some dude backed into my car and didn't even leave a sorry note. In closing: fuck you guy who hit my car, fuck you. I'm sure I'll be editing this later. Until then! :-O Edit: Hi Joel I heart you in that best friend kind of way. :-[ Carry on. Edit 2: P.S. I own this song, bye. 3 | ©

Wowie wow wow. [12 Jul 2003|04:37pm] [ mood | shoppy ] [ music | Nothin' ] Sorry that subject was so queer. Anyways, I've been out since 9 in the morning shopping until my feet started hurting so bad that I had to come home. That is..7 straight hours of shopping. I bought a lot of really pointless stuff. I shop when I'm bored. I was buying really cute lingerie today with these little pink and black things on it, and I don't know why because it's not like I have anyone to impress? And then I bought some candy and some cute underwear and some DVD's and just wow, I blew a lot of money today okay. Billy left. :( Le sob. I love him anyways. I'm gonna go put everything that I bought away and then possibly go bug Benji, and then Kelly, and try to convince them into going to dinner with me. OH AND CONGRATS KELLY & JOEL! BYE. <33 4 | ©

Ooh la la. [12 Jul 2003|01:41am] [ mood | swanky ] [ music | Your dad ] Nothing much to say but that I got some new icons and also, that I am giving up. You think you know what I'm talking about but you don't. :D Excuse me while I go shake my ghetto ass to some hardcore rap and eat Pringles, bye. Edit: P.S. I am the swankiest. Edit #2: Oops I had something here but I deleted it because it was lame, sry. 21 | ©

>:O!!!!!!1111 [11 Jul 2003|03:20pm] [ mood | pointlessssss ] [ music | dumdumdum. ] i hate comptuers & i h8 typnig!!!!!!!!11 I RELLAY ATE TYPOS TOO.!!!!!! BAI Edit: Ignore that. Massive crack outburst. Oh & Billy left me a present in my mailbox so I love him like no other, hello William. :-[ 6 | ©

And it's hard at the end of the day.. [11 Jul 2003|04:19am] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | `* Angel//Sarah McLachlan ] Blah. Billy just signed off and I just got off the phone with Kelly. I was thinkin' I should probably call people, but these people are probably sleeping. Mmm, I just love this staying up at night & thinking too much thing. What a great combination! Especially when the few things you think of, branch off into a million other things and you're really not going to sleep, now are ya? Blah. I should stop the nasty sarcastic thing, I just can't help it sometimes. Oh lord, there's just something about nighttime that just.. pisses me off. I'm so much better during the day. Billy & I were talkin' about it. It seems like this somber feeling just falls upon us sometimes when night comes. We figured it must be some unexplainable human thing. I don't know if we're still doing the dinner thinggg. Maybe another night? Hm, I'm going to Wal-Mart with Billy in the morning/afternoon/whatever and I'm gonna ask Kelly & Benji if they wanna hitch a ride and just drive around, hang out, somethin'. I forgot to ask Kelly when I was on the phone with her. >_< O0pS13z!!!!11 :| Maybe I will call people. Their cell phone is probably off at this time anyway, I'll leave a retarded message. Actually, I think I'm gonna go take some Nyquil and lay in bed 'til I can fall asleeeep. Sounds like a plan hm? 'Til next time kids. >:O P.S. I miss Joel. ©

I'm not the kind to sacrifice the way I am.. [10 Jul 2003|08:24pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Myself. Ooh get over it ] Man. Today was such fun. I'll try to express what a blast I had, but it'll be hard. I realized something today. Well, I realized a couple of things, but one of them being that friends are the best medicine. No matter what's going on in my mind, no matter what struggle I'm going through, no matter how many people get me down. I can just go out with my friends and feel a million times better. I know that sounded all cheesy-after-school-special-ish but I don't really give a shit because it's true. :) I went with Billy, Benji & Kelly to breakfast this morning. We went to "our restaurant", IHOP, haha. Everytime we eat there, we wreak havoc. We were throwing food at each other, and going in the opposite sex's bathrooms. We were laughing so loud we almost got kicked out (nothing new to us by the way). Billy's over there screaming obscene things and old people are staring at him. It just felt so familiar, and comforting, and just like everything I've been missing for the past months. Then we went to this torture museum downtown. It was kind of like the one Billy, Benji & I went to in Ireland, I think? So it was fun having Kelly with us this time, I love her. :-[ We were like trying to climb on the displays. There's this one big spinning torture wheel thing JUST LIKE the one we saw in Europe and I'm trying to climb on it, and Benji's trying to strap me in, and this attendant guy was screaming at us. So we stopped that and started playing freeze tag. Billy got in trouble because he was "it". HAR HAR. Anyway. After that, we came back to my house, and we sat on the back porch for a while and played with my doggies. :-[ And my monkeh. My duck was swimming in his pool and didn't wanna be bothered so fuck thatttt. I was kind of hoping my cat would have kitties today but we'll just have to keep waiting I guess. Then we came inside and ate lunch, sat around the livingroom and just talked about a bunch of shit. It's just so nice being with everyone again, blah. I love them and I missed them, die. Of course I missed everyone else who wasn't there that usually is, sob. But, you know, you gotta make the best with what you've got. And I think I did. Tommorow night we have this plan. We're gonna go out to dinner at a real fancy restaurant, but dress up as each other. Like I'm dressing as Billy, Billy's dressing as me. Benji's dressing like Kelly, Kelly's dressing like Benji. It's gonna be funnay, yo. They're all coming over at 10 tommorow morning because damn, we have quite a project. Billy's gonna draw tattoos on Kelly & I, we gotta find some fake jewelry, we gotta pick out Billy's outfit, we gotta do makeup and hair and..sfhskjf LMFAO this is gonna be like some fucking Broadway production. Geez. And I will end my post. With this.: sickgirl K3LLY: UM I CAN PLEASE THE PUSSY MORE THAN ANYONE K 5 | ©

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a fantasy.. [09 Jul 2003|11:04pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | `* Some Jennifer Lopez song ok ] Why do I feel crazy. Edit: I was gonna link you all to this test thing that amused me, but it seems that the link isn't working now. Hmph. It's 2:30 somethingggg and I'm going to go lay down, bye bye. ©

;[ [08 Jul 2003|06:24pm] [ mood | retarded ] [ music | dork music ] I've had a lot of time to think about this, and I've decided to follow my plan. I'm joining this convent..uh. Our-Sister-Mother-Of-Mary-Son-Of-The-Father-Church's convent. I am currently accepting applications from guys who will let me see them naked before I become abstinent and reclusive. Those who do not know what those words mean, need not apply. (p.s. you could just look it up in the dictionary). I'm going shopping for my nun outfit tommorow and leaving for Walla Walla, Washington in the mo'nin. Just not really. Edit: I got bored with blowing you so I made a new sn. BRITNEY ahaha no. Add me to your buddylist like whoa, bye. Edit #2: New Layout. ;[ Edit #3: I'm sorry. I really am. I think I'll just keep my mouth shut from now on. I'm such a fucking dumbass sometimes. I love you, you know that. <3 Sorry for my mini-outburst, agghh. 2 | ©

Heart.. [07 Jul 2003|11:33pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Nothin'. ] Heart I know I've been hard on you I'm sorry for the things I put you through Please don't you break on me I need to make you see It wasn't meant to be 'Cause you, will always be my friend So keep on hanging in And we'll find love again Edit: Hi so Billy made me feel alot better and he wins and the majority of you lose except for those exceptions, my friends, and you know who you are. Everyone else can die die die suck a cock choke burn die get thrown into an alligator pit in the Everglades and have them comply when I ask them to eat you alive. Pleasant night to you all. 2 | ©

Bleh. [07 Jul 2003|03:59am] [ mood | numb ] [ music | `* Time Stands Still//All-American Rejects ] Shoot me. Honestly.. just shoot me. Edit: Joel shot me. Kidding. Um. We hung out tonight and we made each other feel better because he's mah best buddeh, and wtf last night sucked on many levels. So we talked and stuff and WE MADE PRETTY ICONS EHEHE HASKJF. K no. It was nice having someone to talk to, to take my mind off of things since I can't sleep. We're still not asleep..obviously. It's 7:20 in the mo'nin. :| sickboy J0EL (5:07:30 AM): GIZZY GIZZY LOOKIE HEA. gizza bizzard..lizzard .. kizzard! KAZOOOOOO? KIZZURR! GIZZACK EE GIZZAAAAAAAH! Oh and I changed my info around right herre. I seriously need to learn how to sleep despite things bothering me, because if not, I'll be an insomniac forever kajsdhfh bye. Oh and hi Kelly :-[ I love you like Jacko loves Blanket. 2 | ©

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